Self portraiture

Where am I now?
I don't know, but I better hurry up and get some works finished.

I have taken over my whole apartment with paintings and plastic over the floor. I'm feeling a bit sorry for my partner who has to put up with it!!

I have been doing some angry styled drawings, pretty big self portraits of just my face a bit distorted and angry. I think I will have 3 drawings of different angry expressions in my final work. I am using black permanent markers to make them. I am not entirely happy with any that I've done so far, but the practice has been very useful, and I feel like I'm getting better at drawing a large face angrily.

I also put down some lines to separate the large painting and used my own scars, scabs and bruises as a reference to put one with modelling paste inside each square on the board. I will experiment with using different colours in the different squares, but am not sure yet how I will do it.

I had some feedback on my other scab painting, where I was told maybe the background should be more muted, so I put a layer with cream colour over the surface, and left the scab bright. I've also turned it around so the scab runs horizontal. I think I will now try out putting a layer of blue instead, because I am interested in the contrast between the blue and red, then I will put some red and brown splashes, hand marks, abstract marks on the background.

I have started painting a naked self portrait *blushes* on the me sized board, it won't be realistic and I won't have any bits showing lol. It is in a stance that suggests vulnerability and awkwardness.

My theme tying all these different pieces together is self portraiture with emotions and vulnerability. The scars/scabs show how life leaves marks on you, whether mentally or physically that scar you for the rest of your life, and shows how the skin and mind are both vulnerable to scarring. Nakedness for me is the biggest vulnerability, so this painting is a big deal for me. Also where I have an increased vulnerability with it because of past experiences and I suppose mental scars.
I do not like showing my emotions to other ppl, whether it's anger or sadness, I prefer to keep hidden. The large drawings of my face show emotions which I believe when u show them makes u vulnerable and not in control.

I will add some dodgy photos now of what I have been talking about.

Thanks, Tessa.